Will the Third Debate Be ‘Electronic Ambien?’
After suffering through the recent presidential debate, I’m really shocked that one of the major drug companies didn’t make a bee line to the Patent Office and file for electronic Ambien! Talk about an over-the-counter sleep medication, this debate was nothing more than a damned narcotic. I know, let’s call it visual Vicodan! ‘Cause, and despite my usual double dose of caffiene-laden Kenyan coffee, I still got to be anaesthatized by these two guys. And I know that I’m among the many nodding minions.
In fact, even the Lenos and Lettermans whined about the lack of joke material that the long, boring and at times tortuous debate between Obama and McCain yielded. It’s really ironic, if you think about it, that now, right now, while we’re being slam-dunked by a dramatic economic turn-down, stuck in a seemingly winless two-front war and are confronted with an unprecented array of social issues, the candidates were still so nil, so blah, so nothing…
Sure, all of the political junkies and partisans will say that their guy scored points on this or that, on who’s pro (or anti) regulation, who really wants to protect ‘the common man’, ad nauseum. And what a trillion dollars really means (i’m still clueless). It’s like during the Veep debate, when Biden actually had the balls to brag about ‘hanging out at Home Depot’. Gimme a break-the closest he ever got to them was when he included them in his stock portfolio. And as for Saint Sarah, her homily of ‘homeyisms’ was-gee whiz, go-o-lly, absolutely nauseating. A Gomer Pyle in drag.
Yet and still, the debate, with Tom Brokaw crawling out of the retirement ooze to moderate (don’t these ancient media types ever go away?), did have a few-very few- moments. Obama, for all his usual charm, appeared to alternate, when listening to McCain, between looking smarmy and playing the attentive student. You know, the classmate who arrived late and got stuck sitting in the lecture hall’s front row. He’s bored to hell, but pretends to be attentive in the hopes that he won’t get called on to answer a question. But hey, his suit fit well and his tie matched. Obama-please, please stop with the smirking. It’s okay to be pissed off at your opponent, we won’t see you as ‘the angry black man’; at least most of us won’t.
McCain, by contrast, appeared old, startlingly so. Okay, we understand that he’s somewhat stiff as a result of his war injuries, but beyond that, his body language, his movements and even the tener of his voice betrayed his age. Very different, if you think about it, from his still shots and stationary podium appearances. And that baggy, saggy suit-he really ought to use on his wife Cindys’ many fashion consultants. I mean, it would be one thing for McCain to play the American Legion guy wearing his one wedding/funeral suit, but for a politico who doesn’t even know how many houses he owns? And is married to a mega-millionairess?Shab is, after all, just that-shab. Also, his now infamous referral to Obama as ‘that one’ (while standing near him) was kinda crude. This type of comment is usually used by a cranky grandma when complaining about her least favorite grandchild. I swear, and if he calls me ‘my friend’ just one more time, I’ll kick my TV screen in.
