After a poor ratings review, and a sloppy poll done by Zogby Osama Bin Laden’s Terrorist Organization Al Qaeda will announce a new spokesperson. Bin Laden’s Niece Wafah Dufour, the daughter of bin Laden’s half brother, Yeslam Binladin. And while she claims she has nothing to do with Bin Laden, or Al Qaeda. She said she was willing to take her clothes off for GQ Magazine for the January Issue.

Welcome to America Miss Dufour. The land of opportunity if your a woman, and your willing to take your clothes off for the media.

The Yahoo Version

Microsoft wasn’t about to lose another round of bidding. They purchased Opera for 1 billion dollars. I mean they had the money on the table they just changed the name on the check and said why not?
While this deal doesn’t make any sense. Microshaft never does anything that makes sense so why change now.

related:
John Dvorak toots his horn.

Developing Maybe….

Salesforce.com went offline for what seems like forever to the dumb companies that use their services. It is going to cost them oodles of noodles this time of year and its also going to piss off their bosses severely. Salesforce claimed the reason for the outage was a problem with an electrical outlet and a 2 liter of coke. Looks like Salesforce is the final fuckr unless someone fucks up next week.

related:
Scrotoleizer weights in.
Other dude with a website.

Jason Calacanis has opened his big mouth, and spouted off something ridiculous. You have to read this shit to believe it, but seriously its a load of hooey. His predictions seems like an ego inflated wish list of things he hopes happens to make his life simpler in 2006. One of them should be him finding another wife, getting a better tan, and getting lost in a subway in New York. Seriously Jason. Get a life. We all know you want Denton to sell out. But he probably won’t. That’s why he can’t get into the all the cool clubs.

Here’s my wish list for 2006.

Scrivs begins answering emails again.
Scrivs will finish something he said he would.
Someone besides Blogebrity will offer me a blogger job.
WeblogsInc. will change their name to DoucheBlogsInc.
Duncan will buy a new server so I can finally quit just reading BH in Bloglines.
I  get married to the entire  staff of  Girlspoke.
CNET will start their own Digg. Called blogloads.
B5 will stop sending me hate mail.
Everyone will quit asking me if I am involved with Douchebrity. *Douche sucks. Blogebrity sucks. They are both fags. Fucking fags. I blog about shit in such a middle school way. They blog about shit in such a preschool way. Get a life both of you.  Seriously does anyone care about Neil Kramer?  Whoever he is.
Denton will quit talking about me behind my back.
My Ebook Blogriots will be a NYTimes Bestseller.

technorati tags: blogging, lists, calacanis, douchebrity, blogebrity, girlspoke, scrivs,

related:
Seriously someone should find a way to mine my thoughts Mr. Rubel. That’s going to be a major trend in 2006.

Ben Barren chimes in.

Google’s Secret Weapon from last year.
Jews for Jesus is suing Google Happy Holidays Google.
London Times libels blogger who doesn’t know how to spell.
Marketing advice from Dilbert

Developing…

Everyone seems to be revealing there 4th quarter earnings, so we decided it was alright to release ours too.

Holy Shit. see the silliness.

PS.
If these dumb shits can raise capital anyone can.

pro·sa·ic (pr-zk)
n.

A downer drug to help bloggers with attitude calm it down a knotch. A neccesity for the entire Blogebrity staff.

So I did this study actually I just surfed over to this one guys website. The post was 3 Web Trends that Really Annoy Me. The funny part about it is, this shit annoys me too. But I think its funny so I keep doing this on every site I consult on. And I consult on a lot of big projects these days. In fact soon I am going to help develop fuck.erati.com just to piss you off. I charge 22 bucks an hour to piss guys like this off so if anyone there needs an asshole. Here’s one.

Michael Arrington over at TechCrunch says that Flock is all worked up. I think its hilarious because I use Flock, I hate it. But its useful. Especially for what I use it for which is to browse sites I wouldn’t normally browse in Firefox. Chris, over at Flock tries to justify absolutely nothing in an effort to take the attention away from the fact that Flock Sucks. Because truthfully Flock hasn’t done anything for me other than take the place of IE 6 as my primary browser, but Firefox is still my standby girl, the one I take for a spin on Friday nights with that new Performancing Plugin I can rock her world. Performancing is like the new viagra for us bloggers who have lost our … you know.

This post was actually sponsored by Go Flock Yourself, and Performancing. If you don’t believe me check this out.