If you are old enough, you’ll remember the ‘baby on board’ craze. These were small yellow diamonds that people hung in their vehicles to make a statement about their personal life.

Baby on Board spawned Dog on Board, Cat on Board, and even Bitch on Board.

I guess the thinking is that an aggressive driver, or a drunk one, will see the sign and be extra cautious when driving near the yellow-tagged vehicle.

There is a new trend that is similar, but even more annoying. More →

The blogosphere is a twitter about the season 13 finale of the ABC reality show The Bachelor. According to the show’s latest teaser, it will be the ‘most shocking conclusion ever.’ But isn’t it always.

Filming of the show lasts six weeks, people. Most people do not fall in love so quickly. And if they do, most relationships can’t be sustained.

Look at the settings and circumstances these people are immersed into. Every detail is perfection. From the hundreds of lit candles to the thousands of rose pedals, how can anything be real when the conditions are so fake?

So let me ask you this: Would Bachelor on a Budget concept work? Same show. Same people. Different surroundings.

These tight economic times could spawn a new genre of reality TV that is shrouded in frugality. Or perhaps I have it wrong, and these lean times make vicarious living more important than ever before.

I’m not sure what is considered a date in your part of the world, but if I were a betting man, I’m guessing a movie, some dinner and a few drinks would fit the bill. If you’re refined, perhaps a stroll through the big city museum. Adventurous? Get on those rollerblades and hit the park.

Overnight stays at 5-star resorts that end in empty champagne bottles and bubble baths – with a person we’ve known for a few weeks – is unlikely. Even the lucky among us only get this treat once a year.

we are a society obsessed with the relationship failures and successes (in that order) of other people. People see desperate for The Bachelor and his winning pick to ‘make it.’ Whatever that means.

There’s a real world out there. Don’t be blinded by the roses.

Skinny dudes get no respect. In a culture obsessed with obesity, diets and weight-loss shows that act as a national sport, have taken the spotlight.

But what about society’s stick figures? Sure they’re uniformly cursed by those who suffer to shed a pound, but they have issues of their own! Low muscle mass, hair loss, botched up hormones, osteoporosis, and anemia, to name a few.

One of the worst parts of being a member of the Thin Brigade is that folks think they have license to say what they want to lightweights.

“God, you’re so skinny.”

If it were to work in reverse, there would be a double-standard beat down.

“God, you’re so large.”

I’m convinced there’s an untapped cottage industry out there. One day you’ll be able to buy FatWater (a beverage designed to gain weight that actually tastes good). Heck, there might even be a reality show. Since people love watching other people eat, why not put skinnies against one another to pack on the pounds? It would be like The Biggest Loser meets Supersize Me. In fact my pitch is sitting on the desks of several top network execs. I’m just waiting for the call…

Skinny folks might be more comfortable in airline seats, and they may be able to fit places you can only dream of, but they also break easier, carry less and suffer from more wrinkles, bulgier eyes and general weakness.

So next time you have the chance, support your skinny colleagues to achieve their body-weight goals as you would help the obese.

Skinny ain’t lookin’ for sympathy. Maybe just a hamburger.

Some weird exports come outta Japan, but this latest study might take the cake – or the virginity. Word on the Tokyo streets is that teens who skip breakfast have sex.

In fact, the average age of first-time sex for those who said they ate breakfast every day as a middle school student was 19.4, while for those who skipped breakfast, the average age was 17.5.

So load your kids up with Apple Jacks, Eggo waffles and Spanish frittatas, cause apparently, depriving them from ‘the most important meal of the day,’ is a recipe for premature intercourse, and by that, I’m talking about underage sex.

I have no idea what’s behind the study. Does no breakfast mean low blood sugar leads to faulty decisions? Does it mean your parents don’t love you, leaving you with no one to consult on sexual matters? Or maybe, English Muffins and orange juice suck away your every desire?

The intention has always been to get kids to make time for a nutritious breakfast. It looks like a single survey will undo decades of work, as a bunch of horny boys forgo the first meal to increase their odds of action. Heck, If I were 16 again, I certainly would.

So if you’re a parent with young children make sure you enforce a must-eat breakfast policy. Either that or add Planned Parenthood to your speed dial.

Gas prices have come back down to earth, but that doesn’t mean you should expect other industries to follow suit.

Take my local bagel store for instance. About two months ago they hung a sign explaining how the HAD to raise prices due to an increase in transport costs. Gas is down to $2.50 a gallon; my plain bagel is still $1.

The same is true of all the area pizzerias. The price of flour, mozzarella cheese and tomatoes have decreased dramatically over the past few months, however, the elevated price of a slice remains steady.

And honest business owner will admit that a price rollback is insanity. What sane person would turn away a profit increase? It seems to go against human nature.

That is why it is up to you and me to put things in check. Ask your mom and pop shop owner when you should expect prices to ‘return to normal.’ If you don’t like their answer – or they don’t have one – find another store. Repeat this process until you tip the scales of supply and demand back in the consumer’s favor.

Things go up in price, that’s just the way it is. But the gas gauge of 2008 is starting to fade in the rear view mirror. Keep your local business honest and help bring things back to balance.

Blaming it all on gas is not going to cut it any longer.

The pope came to New York City, The pope left New York City. And the city that never sleeps is exactly as it was 72 hours ago. However, there were several moments of magic. The pope pulled off several feats that I never thought possible.

He Reversed Traffic. Who knew that one human being could be important enough to shut down vehicular traffic on Fifth Avenue for over a mile?

He Drives a Glass Car. No one questioned how many miles per gallon the pope mobile gets. I always though that Segways were silly looking. I challenge you to find me a sillier-looking vehicle.

He Looks Like Liberace. Is it just me that sees a resemblance between His Pontiffness and a certain 70s/80s ivory tickler?

He Likes Lace. I’ve been to mass and have never seen so many men wearing intricate lace clothing. And fur. Heck, maybe he IS Liberace.

For 81 years of age, the man is a walking marvel. He’s fit, lucid and a true messenger of good will. Thankfully, he is also speaking out against the abhorrent actions of a handful of child-molesting priests.

What the media fails to realize, however, is that only 25% o the U.S. practices Roman Catholicism. In short, many people simply don’t care. The top stories have been dominated for days. All I want is the five-day forecast.

If we’re going to be honest, the pope is a mane that represents a religious contingency that won’t acknowledge homosexuals, is anti-abortion, and against divorce and the death penalty.

I have to wonder, out of that 25%, who’s left to care?

Baseball purists whined, Yankee haters hated and the talk radio hosts went ballistic. All over a 59-year-old man playing a game.

Yes folks, baseball, love it or hate it, is a game played by grown men. So when the New York Yankees decided to sign comedian/actor Billy Crystal to a one-day, one at-bat minor league contract, why were so many people outraged?

This wasn’t a game of any importance. It was the Yanks and the Pittsburg Pirates going through the motions of nine innings of spring training baseball.

If you want to be mad that Billy Crystal is fortunate enough to “fame” his way to YOUR dream, then so be it. But don’t tell me the first inning strikeout (though Crystal did make contact) tarnished the pride of the pinstripes.

Step 1: Win 26 championships
Step 2: Let actor play in practice
Step 3: Devalue your franchise

Sorry, dear Yankee haters, that is not the case.

Last time I checked, professional sports were designed to entertain. Distract. Make kids smile. If those are the goals, then yesterday, for at least a few minutes, the Yanks exceeded expectations.

Not a bad gift for Crystal’s sixtieth birthday.

Stars crossing over to the diamond is nothing new, both Garth Brooks and Tom Selleck have had their hacks.

Crystal might have whiffed, but the PR move didn’t.

Relax. It’s just a game.

Charity should be about giving, not telling the world that you have given. That’s why, from jump street, I’ve had reservations about Bono’s (RED) campaign. While he’s a human being that I have immense respect for, I couldn’t get behind an altruistic effort that’s fueled by the same hyper-consumerism that has caused more problems than solutions.

Now, a year later, it appears my skepticism might be well-founded. Several reports have participating company’s spending efforts far out pacing the amount of money raised.

My point here isn’t to debate whether or not (RED) or any philanthropic effort is good or bad, rather, this is Jack of All Blogs’ call to urge bloggers to demand greater transparency from the charities they support.

It’s a definite plus in the blogosphere, and everywhere else for that matter, to tout yourself as socially conscious (who doesn’t want to look like a champion of global causes?). However, as Ricky Roma, as played by Al Pacino in Glengarry Glen Ross wisely preaches, “Know the shot.”

For example, here’s a breakdown of several (RED) products and the amount of money that actually gets sent off to the Global Fund.

- AMEX: 1% of spending when using a (RED) card
- GAP: 50% of net profits from (RED) items
- MOTOROLA: $8.50 per (RED) Motorazr

Are these numbers good or bad? That’s for you to decide. But as a consumer, wouldn’t you be more comfortable making a charitable purchase if you knew how much – and exactly where – the money was going? It’s this lack of transparency that is a major hindrance for thousands (maybe millions) of would-be donors.

Companies like the Gap get to wear a humanitarian face. Does that translate to greater overall sales, with only a thin slice of the pie making its way to Africa?

I’m the kind of blogger who doesn’t want a (RED) iPod or (RED) Dell; I’m comfortable buying the products I want and writing a check in the privacy of my own home.

Regardless of how you give, it’s the giving that’s important. In a World Wide Web that is ruled by lifehacks and productivity tips, it might be time for some charityhacks.

My blogs will never “go green” and my philanthropy will never “go red.” Colors are for the lowest common denominator; the simplest way to identify something. I like to think I’m a bit more of a chameleon.

Please bloggers, research before you give or take. And never tip the blogger.

If you’re still trying to work out that bloggers union deal, especially the ‘work from home work out’ $tarbuck$ part of the contract, and finances are rather limited and you don’t manage it to squat days long that posh franchise with the thousands varieties of coffee-imitations… fear not.
Especially not if you’re UK based.

McDonalds comes to your rescue. Starting today.

With the launch of free Wi-Fi access in McDonald’s restaurants from Monday, we can provide the ultimate work break for UK employees to conveniently access the worldwide web. From the comfort of our restaurants, Brits will be able to come out of hiding and surf freely, for free.
[emphasis: waldorf]

I can perfectly imagine how it will feel to blog from home, sat on a hard wooden bench with a clinical table, fries and a tray in front of me. Not to mention the oh so del.icio.us iceberg salad and in ketchup drenched cucumbers falling on my keyboard. No, I don’t want my menu to be maximized, but do you have a power outlet where I can plug in? And maybe a cushion too, because those benches are so comfortable.

Soon coming near to you, 4 Dell equipped bloggers, hosted on blogspot, downloading their free music thanks to McDonalds FreeFi and Ronald ‘Beta’ McDonald 2.0.

Since I started blogging many moons ago, one thing that has never failed to amaze me is how blogging communities will fight tooth and claw when getting into arguments. Call it the blogging possé, if you must, because it seems to be that way. And I don’t mean possé in the (generally obsolete) legal sense (meaning law enforcers deputizing the citizenry for law enforcement functions), but rather in the sense of cliques and gangs.

People tend to act like angry mobs when they feel the need to defend their favorite bloggers. Or taken in a less favorable light, bloggers sometimes tend to gang up on other bloggers (oh, the poor, defenseless things). This kind of activity is polarizing and tends to tear communities apart. You’re forced to choose a side. Otherwise, it’s “if you’re not with us, then you’re against us.”

It’s sickening to think how many blog readers have turned out to be “yes” or “me too” people. Most of the time when you read through the comment threads of blogs (more particularly the personal-oriented blogs), majority, if not all, of comments basically say “I agree” or “me too” or “same here.” I don’t think people have the balls anymore to disagree or at least to give other perspectives. What a shame!

And sometimes I think it’s the fault of a blog owner why his or her readers turn out to be this way. Some bloggers I know would delete or sanitize comments that oppose ideas on their blogs. Sure, that’s fair enough. It’s their blog, after all. But what I find really silly is how other comment-posters would gang up on these people with dissenting (but valid) views. Kind of makes you want to avoid these blogs altogether, eh?

The blogosphere exists for people to have a voice and to express themselves. But where there are people–more especially groups of people–there will inevitably be mass stupidity.

Sharpen yer pitchforks and light yer torches, everyone!